Why women want babies

My BFF who recently gave birth to her lovely little girl (my god daughter) asked me recently why women want children against all odds.

You see my BFF and I both got married quite young and we both have these great marriages where our hubbies are our best friends (besides each other of course). And the truth be told I am so crazy about DH that for years I couldn’t contemplate the idea of sharing him with someone else, even our own little one. I guess after eleven years of marriage we now have enough room in our hearts to share.

I guess I always did want a baby. At school I was the girl most likely to be first married (close) and first to have a child (not anywhere near). I am crazy about babies and I’ve always thought I’d want one. But I never had that, “Gotta have it now” feeling. And for a while I honestly thought we would be fine living our lives with no children. We have such full and happy lives. DH and I have done loads of travelling, although not enough yet! I have a career I really love. I have the best husband, a great home, a family I (mostly) adore. So a life without children for me would never be empty.

That is until earlier this year, when I was blind-sided by this overwhelming desire to have a baby. I’ve thought a lot about where the desire came from and why it so completely overwhelmed me. Was it jealousy because my SIL was pregnant? Was it just the biological clock ticking, this all started just before by 34th birthday? Was it that I had totally ignored what I really wanted for the last eleven years and so when it came up it overwhelmed me? I honestly have no real idea.

To compare with that I have met women who have always wanted a baby and don’t feel like there lives will be complete without one. What makes you want a baby against all the odds, what makes you put yourself through the ongoing heartache to bring a new life into this world.

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About MommyAtLast

Finally a Mommy to our Medical Miracle IVF Boy / Girl Twins who were born in November 2011. We overcame azoospermia using hormone therapy for my hubby to conceive our precious Hope Babes on our 4th IVF.
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5 Responses to Why women want babies

  1. Well, I am one of those that didn’t feel complete without a child. I just always knew I wanted to be a mother more than anything in the world I can’t pinpoint what it was inside of me that made me that way. I guess it is a really primal basic feeling. I would go to great lengths to be mom because the thought of living my life without children seemed worse than the heartache I was feeling trying to achieve it. Now that I am a mommy from DS I wouldn’t have done anything differently. It was worth every bit of heartache and craziness.

  2. karlinda says:

    It’s weird, isn’t it? I always thought I’d have children ‘some day’, but that some day always seemed to be at least 10 years away. Then at about 32 it hit me too, & no amount of logical arguments about why I didn’t want or shouldn’t have children did any good. There was that little, but insistent, voice at the back of my head that said ‘but…’, and now I couldn’t /not/ have kids. Can’t argue with biology, I guess.

  3. Willow says:

    I’ve wondered about this for myself as well–I always knew I wanted to be a mom, and have been with DH for 11 years (married for 7), and TTC for 3. But why didn’t we start sooner, and what made us start when we did? I guess a feeling, finally, that it was time, that we were where we wanted to be in our lives careerwise to be able to take care of a baby the way that we wanted to, that we had gotten to travel and enjoy just each other and were ready for the next stage in our lives. And then of course it took 3 years and an adoption for us to reach that stage. I think it’s natural to envision having children someday, especially with someone you love, and it’s hard to give up that dream even if it’s difficult to make it come true.

  4. mommyinwaiting says:

    Thanks so much for sharing, it’s nice to know there wasn’t something wrong with me for not WANTING and yearing for this baby sooner! Just wish we had woken up to this years ago, when we lived in the UK and the NHS would have paid for treatments.

  5. Noelle says:

    Oh my goodness…we are so similar. I am 33, have been married for 12 years, and was very content without children. We also traveled and have jobs and were happy (well, I have always suffered depression, but that is beside the point). All of a sudden, I also had an overwhelming desire to have a child, due to jealousy of my half-sister and a co-worker. I wish that I could have been one of those people that just went off the pill and let whatever was going to happen, happen. But no, I was like, “I gotta have it now!” Annoying.

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