Mind Games

I know this is stating the obvious but this is the most ridiculous rollercoaster ride!  Thrill seekers should all try this life out to get over the crazy desire to have the world drop out from beneath you and then pick you back up on an exhilarating high!

No there’s no new news, nothing’s happened except in my crazy brain. 

Last night I had another one of those SNAIFs (Sleepless Nights Attributed to InFertility).  It didn’t help that Hopelessly was restless for some reason, but that’s not what had me awake.  It was the games my mind was playing with me. 

Yesterday I went back to the Pituitary Foundations website to re-read the information which gave us hope in the first place.  Their website makes it all sound so simple, just have these injections and it will work, reminds me of the last appointment with the FS where he said “it will work”.  They even have a case study where ‘David’ tells how his wife got pregnant after 10 months of him on the injections.  I mean we’ve already done over four months (if you include the time on Pregnyl alone or six weeks if you only count from when the Menopur started).  I just got my hopes up again. 

I lay in bed so excited at the thought of being pregnant with Hopelessly’s child.  I even got butterflies in my tummy.  I eventually had myself convinced to go back on the vitamins ‘cause you just never know, maybe just maybe… you know the drill…

Anyway, besides the silly games my mind is playing with me this week, I am now back on the eating plan recommended by the dietician.  I so fell off the wagon over the festive season and when I got on the scale yesterday morning I realised I have some making up to do before I’m really loosing again.  But I’m back to having that picture in my head of the lovely belly I will have when I am pregnant, so the motivation to start losing again is back.  I also keep thinking that I need to be healthy to get pregnant, I need to be healthy to stay pregnant and I need to be healthy to give our baby the VERY best start in life.

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About MommyAtLast

Finally a Mommy to our Medical Miracle IVF Boy / Girl Twins who were born in November 2011. We overcame azoospermia using hormone therapy for my hubby to conceive our precious Hope Babes on our 4th IVF.
This entry was posted in Diet, fertility Treatment, Infertility, Male Factor Infertility, TTC and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Mind Games

  1. ChrisN says:

    Hi Hopefully

    Yes that’s HOPE creeping in to excite you in the dead of the night. Ag… Let her in 🙂 Maybe 2010 will be your year – holding thumbs all the way for you. Also started dietitian diet last week to try and lose 15kg of sheer porkie pies. Very daunting. Good Luck. I am sure, one day soon, you will have a gorgeous preggie belly 🙂

  2. AmandaMqn says:

    SNAIFs are killer, I have many of them. I really wish my brain had an off switch or that I’d hurry up and get KU so that I could stop obsessing over IF. lol

    I hope this is the year for you!

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