I don’t want to turn into the kind of person who always focuses on the negative. I don’t want to be down and depressed. I don’t want infertility to define my personality. I want to be one of those Shiny Happy People Laughing (you recognise these lyrics from that REM song in the early 90’s?)
On Tuesday night we went to a braai (bbq) with some of Hopelessly’s old school friends. One guys was out from the UK where he now lives and got everyone together. So as these things always seem to do, the minute the fire was lit the men gravitated to the fireside and the women sat around chatting. I try to avoid these situations at all costs, I hate the girl talk and boy talk thing and I’ve often found that the guys conversation is sooooo much more interesting anyway. But in light of my new found appreciation for ‘sisterhood’ I thought I would hang with the girls and see if I had been missing something all these years.
One woman has two kids, a five year old and a 16month old, the other woman has a little girl around 4 and as we arrived I remembered I had heard she was pregnant – and how, due in two weeks. The last woman gave birth on New Years Day! So other than my friend who has been trying for about a year (you’ll remember her from this post) everyone had kids and talked non-stop about the kids, pregnancy, morning sickness, , the birth, the pain, babies, breast feeding, bath time, nap time, dummies, bottles, sleepless nights etc etc etc! Now in my world this should have made for ‘Shiny Happy People Laughing’. I mean they have it all – don’t they?!? Isn’t this what all us IFs are striving for!?!
Now I’ve never really been a shiny happy person, although thanks to Hopelessly I do laugh a LOT! I’m not a glass half full person, I like to think I’m too pragmatic for that. It’s not that I’m a complainer (maybe I am), but the world does not smell of roses and if it does the ‘Roses really smell like pooo’ (recognise this lyric?). Nah not really J Shame my poor long suffering hubby knows all about it after I gave him an earful yesterday morning (at 5.50am!) when he wasn’t completely perfect, only close! Honestly!
But now I discover the whole world is full of people who complain. No matter what your lot is in life, there is something in your life to bring you down, make you miserable or complain about! (I actually had to endure a 38 week pregnant woman complaining about her baby kicking! ARGH!!! I told her to keep her eyes on the prize and she would endure the agony. But I am going to start trying to stay away from this mentality (well besides the above little complaint).
So brace yourself folks for a new and Shiny Happy Person Laughing a LOT!
Oh please let this be true, please let me manage this, please don’t let life throw me any more things to take away this outlook!