Goodness Gracious… that ol’ bitch Hope is eating me up at the moment. I’m trying so hard to be pragmatic, keep talking sense into myself, but that itsy bitsy bit of Hope just keeps creeping back in.
Towards the back end of last year, I was struggling, very emotional, pretty down and quite simply fed up of waiting and waiting and… one of my cyber IF friends Chopper mentioned she was on some herbal ADs, so I had to know all about them. I decided not to get them, then decided to get them, then decided I was a big brave girl and could definitely cope without them which proved true over the festive season with the family here to distract me. Then the family were all gone and I had a major wobbly last weekend and decided the time had come. So off I went to get the S Johns Wort and started taking them last week.
Now I don’t know if St Johns Wort is all THAT good, but since my little melt down and starting the ‘happy pills’ I’ve been feeling great and sooo optimistic. I am totally convinced that the injections are working. I wish we didn’t have to wait until the end of February to have the next tests done and get the good news. Now how optimistic is that! Crazy isn’t it?
Anyway the truth be told there is some basis for my optimism. I won’t let all my dear hubby’s secrets out (well not too many), but last year when he went on the testosterone injections we noticed two changes. The first was a significant (And I mean ‘Come to Papa’ significant) increase in his libido. And when you’re TTC there’s nothing better than a really strong drive. The second was a change in the shape, hang and size of his testicles. The months after the testosterone injections, saw this all slowly disappear and with the Pregnyl injections it just never came back.
But now!!! He shakes my nerves and he rattles my brain and there is simply no such thing as too much love – if you know what I mean!
Yup I am optimistic. I am sure this is working, so here come the vitamins again ladies. But now what do I do about the St Johns Wort, it says not to take if you are pregnant and while I know I am not pregnant and still won’t be for months to come should I stop or just enjoy the ride for a little while longer?