In yesterday’s news there is yet another older (old) woman wanting IVF. This woman in 59, in fact she had her first child two years ago at the age of 57 having undergone IVF using donor eggs. Now she wants a sibling for her child. (You can’t fault that can you.) But everyone is up in arms because she is too old to have a baby. How can she want to bring a child into the world that she may not see grow up? How can she think it’s safe to be pregnant at her age? And let’s not forget that over the age of 44 the chances of success from IVF are 1% – yes just 1%. But she doesn’t care about any of this, she just wants a baby.
A Conservative Member of Parliament in the UK, Nadine Dorries, described this woman’s plan to have another baby at her age as ‘preposterous’ and wants Parliament to intervene. She said, ‘Once you pass the point of natural conception, that’s when you should stop.” Read the Daily Mail for more. Wow now there’s a statement to get most IFs riled up. I mean I guess for Hopelessly that means seeing as he was never actually able to have kids his point of natural conception was never reached and he should never be allowed to have kids. And those women who have unexpectedly early menopause they should not be allowed assistance. In fact what is the point of any ART if you should stop when you pass the point of natural conception. Stupid Cow!
Now I’m not condoning having a baby up until 100 years old and I don’t have any clear idea in my mind on when is the point of no return, it just got me thinking.
This story comes at a time when Hopelessly and I have been having the conversation about age. A couple of weeks ago we were at the in-laws and the conversation dropped the penny in Hopelessly’s head that actually he is getting on now. Most of the time he can’t remember how old he actually is (that should be a dead give-away that time is creeping up on him), but suddenly it occurred to him that at his next birthday he will be 37. Something about that number made him feel old. I mean 37 is closer to 40. It’s definitely late-30s. And approaching middle age for sure. Actually is was quite funny to watch Hopelessly realise that time is a factor, something I have been going on about for the last year. My birthday is just a week away and I guess the dreaded looming 35 seems like a milestone (and not in a good way!)
And so we have talked about being ‘old’ parents. We both had young parents. In the case of his folks, they did great for it, in the case of mine, they got divorced when I was really young and my mother really didn’t cope as a single young mother (she was 23, divorced with a 5 year old!). On the other side of the coin, my Dad had my sister born on his 40th birthday, and boy is he an old fart when it comes to her, but our god-son’s parents had him later in life and his mom is awesome, a great involved and ‘young’ mom. So maybe age doesn’t matter that much. Still it’s something to think about.
I read something the other day that I’m going to try to keep in mind as we await our baby, “Live your life and forget your age”. I also keep thinking that 35 or 36 isn’t that old yet anyway!