My Aunt C and Uncle J suffered with secondary infertility and there is a six year gap between my cousins. When people tell their story it is more often than not tied up to the story of my Grandmother’s death.
You see J & C had been trying for No. 2 for a long time and I now know that they had some MFI issues, low number, poor motility. I don’t know anything about what treatments they may or may not have had or what the details were. But the way the story goes in family legend my Grandmother passed away and went up to God and made an intervention and asked God to send them the baby they so longed for. And within the same year – in fact within three months – they were pregnant! She sent them a gift or arranged for God to send them a gift.
Now my faith is somewhat confused these days, this whole journey has been a hard one and has caused a lot of anger between me and God,we don’t talk anymore and in fact I now doubt that there can possibly be a god who is all powerful and yet does nothing to alleviate this pain in so many. But you’ve heard this from me before.
When my Mom died we had a counselling session with the minister who did the funeral service. My aunt and uncle were in the session too and when the minister asked Hopelessly and I if we had kids my aunt piped up and said that there were problems and it was a sensitive subject. Anyway, that’s another story how she even knew we were trying. And I guess my aunt must also truly believe that my grandmother intervened with God for her to have her second baby, because she said God will make a plan for us and that maybe my Mother would talk to him for us!
I can’t begin to explain how confused my feelings are on this one. I mean I too sort of believed that my Gran might have had something to do with my little cousins arrival in the family. Part of me thought maybe he was my Gran re-incarnated, part of me believed my Gran used her awesome powers of persuasion on God to get him here, but most of me thinks it’s all a crock of bull! See how confused my faith is???
Hopelessly and I were talking about it the other day and we said it is silly because if (by some miracle) we were to get pregnant in the near future people would say my Mom had something to do with it and that is ridiculous because we know it would have been the treatment that my poor man has endured for the last year, but people would have their silly notions. Anyway I talk of this because one of my interweb buddies over at Adding to the Pack posted about how she was being seen as “That Girl” who fell pregnant while taking a break. They too have MFI (along with PCOS) and I think people fail to realise that not all IF treatments are IUI or IVF of GIFT, but sometimes it is the long term medications, the change in diet, the supplements etc that are the treatment and when you get pregnant from this it isn’t a miracle – it’s the treatment working.
Still I wouldn’t mind a miracle…