I mentioned the other day how it feels as though Hopelessly and I don’t have the hope that this will be our miracle month. As I mentioned this has it’s up side, but I think it has been considerably contributing to me feeling that we are going no where.
Anyway, I have been having a few better days (who would have though I could have more than two in a row). In fact I was chatting to a friend today and she asked me how I was doing and I had to pause and think why she was asking me with such intensity as though there was something not right. For a while there I forgot I have been pretty down for ages and lost my mom under two months ago. See there can be brighter days!
The better days bring me to thinking that maybe it is time… time to let hope back in. I know that ol’ b!tch can cause absolute hell, getting hopes up and then letting us down, but maybe it is better to hope.
A few months ago, after another ‘no improvement’ session at the FS I gave up the vitamins. I mean there is no point in spending money on vitamins if you have no sperm and no hope of getting pregnant is there? We gave up the timed baby dancing months and months ago after the zero SA result. And I have simply not bothered with any hope – what’s the point hey?
But Hopelessly has now been on his new protocol (Menopur 3 times a week & Ovidrel once a week) for over four months. And this new protocol comes after the three months on Pregnyl. In reality I don’t think it would be unrealistic to start Hoping (there’s that word) that maybe, just maybe he could be making some spermies now. I mean sperm take 72 days to form and he has had way longer than that now for the hormones to work their magic. So maybe it is time to go back on the vits and start making whooppeee at the right times. Oh and I guess along with that goes eating properly.
Whatcha think folks, am I crazy to let that ol’ b!tch back in or should I leave her out in the cold for a little while longer so the good times can last?