Emotional

Wow yesterday was a high octane day.  I cannot remember ever being that emotional in all my life. 

I have been having a real struggle sleeping the last week or so – no surprises there.  I get to sleep easily enough, but by around 3am my mind turns back on and that is that.  I have tried tiring myself out, by not having an afternoon nap and making sure I am exhausted by bed time, I have tried going to bed much later, I have tried having an afternoon nap to make sure I’m not over tired, but so far nothing is working.  The great thing is that I am not lying there stressing, I am not pondering my follies or the process or whether or not this is going to work – worrying about these things can only have a negative impact so no point.  I am spending my time worrying about my friends and family.

Have I told you before what a lack of sleep does to me?  It has similar effects to what being hungry does to me – it makes me emotional.

And then yesterday came so full of emotion, just to set me off.  One friend received such terrible news, my heart just broke into a million pieces for her.  I found myself sobbing for her pain and wishing I could just make it all go away.  And another friend received the best news ever and I found myself blubbing on the phone to her to – this time with overwhelming joy.  And it didn’t stop there, then my step mom (I don’t think I say often enough how awesome this woman is) sent me an email which set me off.  And the whole day I felt like I was on the verge of crying again even if I just thought about my friends news.

And then it hit home that maybe this is the hormones.  Ladies is this possible – can I have become a bumbling mess from the hormones.  I mean I feel fine, I’m not stressed – well not overly, I’m fine, I’m not worried, I feel calm and I’m pretty relaxed – but wow this level of emotion seems crazy to me.  Don’t get me wrong under any circumstances I may have shed a tear over both sets of news and probably over the email too (I’m actually a big softy) but not like that – not to that extent.

And then my stomach turned into a soccer ball yesterday!  Hey!  What’s that about?  In the morning I could do up my trousers (a little tight because I’ve been a bad girl with the chocolates and biscuits), by lunch time I had to use the trick some friends mentioned that pregnant woman use – with hair-bands to keep your trousers up without having to do up the buttons and zip!  And I had to use two hair-bands because one was still too tight.  And it was ROCK HARD!?!  My whole stomach, not just the lower bits – where I expected to get bloated, I mean the whole thing to right up under my ribs!  Anyway it seems a little better this morning, but not taking chances, took the old fat clothes out and wearing them today with a belt which can be adjusted as needed.  I even got on the scale this morning to check whether somehow the naughty foods had caught up with me completely – but no change on the scale – sjoe!

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About MommyAtLast

Finally a Mommy to our Medical Miracle IVF Boy / Girl Twins who were born in November 2011. We overcame azoospermia using hormone therapy for my hubby to conceive our precious Hope Babes on our 4th IVF.
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8 Responses to Emotional

  1. dee says:

    Its called IVF. No matter how much you tell yourself that you are not stressed, you definitely are. Stress is part of a cycle, even if you are a zen master the stress WILL get to you. The bloating is very normal, just please DRINK, 2L a day, if not more.

  2. ttcnot2easy says:

    Shoowow… we really set you off. Sorry about that!! I’m sure that the hormones played a part… I’m with Dee on the water thing, my love. I was also very bloated until ER.
    All the best 😉
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  3. Cathy Nel says:

    Yup the emotions are normal! I get like that (not as severe before AF arrives) but with the amount of hormones they pumping in you it’s bound to have an effect. I read a pamphlet they gave me yesterday and they said one of the side effects is feeling weepy… so don’t stress!!!
    Oh and with the being unable to sleep. Go and buy yourself chamomile tea and when you wake up at night, drink a cut. It’s a natural sedative and works wonders. I drink a cup at night and it’s like a mind switch – turns it right off. After about 10 minutes I can feel the drowsiness set in. 5 roses makes a nice chamomile tea with rooibos. Otherwise go to a health shop and buy some ‘sleep tea’. Herbal tea with a few extras to help calm you. It does work wonders!!!
    Sheesh the bloatedness sounds HECTIC!!!! Flip thanks for the heads up!!!

  4. Nic says:

    I always forgot how bloated I would get, but its absolutely normal, a sign that your ovaries are working overtime 🙂 Time to bring out the comfy loose pants. I still found that I was still bloated after ER until ET.

    Agree with Dee and LM – drink lots of water!!

  5. Mash says:

    I find that with insomnia, often it’s worse if I’ve eaten late at night. I make sure that the last mouthful is finished by 7pm now, and no snacks after that. Took a bit of training, but it helps. No caffeine after 12 midday either.
    I think the IVF stress is unavoidable, even if it expresses as something else. I sometimes find that when I’m trying to be calm about something, I end up crying about a TV advert or something else really arb instead!

  6. ldr1604 says:

    I think the gals have said it all. Totally normally Nita, just all part of the joy :p I think it could be more of a shock to you and me as we had never taken stim drugs before doing IVF.

  7. skrambled says:

    Yip! Welcome to the world of IVF my dear! At the moment I feel very teary and today I nearly threw something at hubby!

  8. samcy says:

    Hormones – bloody bastards! But a very vital part of the process. Please please please drink MORE than 2l – try and push for 3 or 4. The more you drink the less chance you have of overstimming… so glug glug glug!!!

    Take good care of yourself honey.

    xxx

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