Wow yesterday was a high octane day. I cannot remember ever being that emotional in all my life.
I have been having a real struggle sleeping the last week or so – no surprises there. I get to sleep easily enough, but by around 3am my mind turns back on and that is that. I have tried tiring myself out, by not having an afternoon nap and making sure I am exhausted by bed time, I have tried going to bed much later, I have tried having an afternoon nap to make sure I’m not over tired, but so far nothing is working. The great thing is that I am not lying there stressing, I am not pondering my follies or the process or whether or not this is going to work – worrying about these things can only have a negative impact so no point. I am spending my time worrying about my friends and family.
Have I told you before what a lack of sleep does to me? It has similar effects to what being hungry does to me – it makes me emotional.
And then yesterday came so full of emotion, just to set me off. One friend received such terrible news, my heart just broke into a million pieces for her. I found myself sobbing for her pain and wishing I could just make it all go away. And another friend received the best news ever and I found myself blubbing on the phone to her to – this time with overwhelming joy. And it didn’t stop there, then my step mom (I don’t think I say often enough how awesome this woman is) sent me an email which set me off. And the whole day I felt like I was on the verge of crying again even if I just thought about my friends news.
And then it hit home that maybe this is the hormones. Ladies is this possible – can I have become a bumbling mess from the hormones. I mean I feel fine, I’m not stressed – well not overly, I’m fine, I’m not worried, I feel calm and I’m pretty relaxed – but wow this level of emotion seems crazy to me. Don’t get me wrong under any circumstances I may have shed a tear over both sets of news and probably over the email too (I’m actually a big softy) but not like that – not to that extent.
And then my stomach turned into a soccer ball yesterday! Hey! What’s that about? In the morning I could do up my trousers (a little tight because I’ve been a bad girl with the chocolates and biscuits), by lunch time I had to use the trick some friends mentioned that pregnant woman use – with hair-bands to keep your trousers up without having to do up the buttons and zip! And I had to use two hair-bands because one was still too tight. And it was ROCK HARD!?! My whole stomach, not just the lower bits – where I expected to get bloated, I mean the whole thing to right up under my ribs! Anyway it seems a little better this morning, but not taking chances, took the old fat clothes out and wearing them today with a belt which can be adjusted as needed. I even got on the scale this morning to check whether somehow the naughty foods had caught up with me completely – but no change on the scale – sjoe!