I’m in a quiet space at the moment. We have my lil’ sister staying with us at the moment and we have already had those special moments we had at Christmas where we found all three of us (DefTTC too) baking and enjoying each other’s company. So special.
So next Saturday we will be scattering my Mom’s ashes and as the time approaches I am planning all the little details of the event. First off I am so touched at the turn out of family who are coming all the way from Jo’burg for the event. Besides my sister who will still be here, we have my Dad flying in on Wednesday night, then my mom’s brother and his family (aunt and two cousins) and my one cousin and her hubby arriving on Friday. To top it all off, my Mom’s best friend is also flying in just for the event, she is leaving an extremely sick husband at home to be there. I think this turnout has really touched me and helped me to realise that despite my Mom’s issues people loved her so much. Bear in mind that my Mom and Dad were divorced 30 years ago and still he is going to be here!
And already I find myself getting carried away with the planning. I just can’t help myself. We will have a proper dinner on Friday night – three courses, fancy table cloths, cutlery and I’m considering making menus and place setting cards, just a few little mementos for those that want to take home with them. My Mom would have loved this. She loved nothing better than cooking for her favourite people, she loved the hoo-haa of a special dinner party and knowing that all this is in her honour would have totally titillated her. Starters will be one of her best recipes, one of the one’s she was known best for – let’s hope I can do real justice to it.
In my little fantasy world this dinner was going to be the time I told the more extended members of the family that we are pregnant, but that didn’t work out like that! But I digress…
Saturday we will head out to Cape Point to scatter the ashes and then head to Boulders Beach for a picnic. These places hold such special memories for me of my childhood and beyond holidays in Cape Town. From the earliest time I remember my Mom always saying to me “one day when I die, please bring me back here” She wanted to be released into the ocean in the place where two oceans meet. And as for boulders, when I think of my Mom on that beach her eyes are bright and shiny and sparkly and she is smiling. We will be having champagne with the picnic because she would have insisted!
I’m so hoping that this brings me some closure. Not that I want to stop remembering my Mom, but I want to go back to the happier days and focus more on those memories that remind me of her smile.