I interrupt our regular broadcast to welcome all ICLW-ers.
The short version of our history:
- Been married over 12 years
- Known since before our first kiss that hubby ‘couldn’t have kids’
- Stopped contraception (it was just in case) about six years ago
- Started really trying to conceive about 19 months ago
- First Semen Analysis showed ZERO sperm
- Nine months of injections for my darling hubby (pregnyl for the first three months which had no impact then a combination of Menopur and Ovidrel for six months)
- Finally we have motile sperm
- Six week wait to hope for better results…
- No better results, only hope is IVF with ICSI
- Did our first cycle last month, but BFN!!!
Since then it’s been a dark time of coming to terms with the fact that our embies didn’t make it. I am on the mend and doing much better. Planning our next IVF with ICSI late September or early October.
Okay that’s the boring details.
I was so hoping that by the time of this ICLW I would be telling you all about my pregnancy symptoms and how excited we were at the prospect of finally becoming parents. I was hoping to be telling you how finally being knocked really does heal the hurt and pain. Instead I have found that the darkest place on earth is in your mind and it’s a long hard slog to fight your way out of the depths.
I am a fighter and being kinder to myself. I have (shock horror) admitted that I am human and can get hurt and I’m even starting to accept that this is okay. Most of all I am looking for ways to really manage stress, stay ‘relaxed’ and find the hope back in my heart that will carry us through another cycle.
If you have been through IVF please stop by the Best Friend’s Guide to IVF and add any comments on anything I have missed. If you are contemplating IVF, please take a read, hopefully some useful info to get you through the craziest ride!
Thanks for stopping by and best of luck on your own journey to parenthood.