Decision to Delay

Yup, I’ve been missing in action again. Lots of reasons, but they boil down to a few key items:

  • My sister is staying with us and proving to be an excellent distraction from my normal levels of obsession
  • We had a whole heap of family with us last weekend (and for a few days before) for the scattering of my Mom’s ashes
  • Work has been extreme – crazy busy, stressful and a b@st@rd new boss
  • My head hasn’t been very stable

So here’s an update.

First off the hysteroscopy went well. I have to say I felt ridiculous being wheeled into a full on surgery when I am healthy. It just seems all wrong subjecting yourself to a general anaesthetic for an investigative procedure. Dr S found a small septum in the uterus which he repaired, but he has said that he doubts it would have had any impact on the failure of the IVF. He said that really if we hadn’t already had a failed cycle he would have just left it. We went to see him on Friday and he took us through the photos pre and post the surgery and I have to say I really struggled to even see the septum. Anyway, everything else was looking good and he is happy that we are set to go again as soon as we are ready.

But… here’s where I admit that DefTTC was right and I really should listen to him… Doing the hysteroscopy in the midst of my mom’s ashes being scattered, and having half the family stay with us and having toooo much on the go at work, was probably not the smartest move ever. Yes Honey, you heard me right, you were right and I was wrong. But I am also very glad we did it. It is now over, behind us and we have a clear run to the next IVF now.

Having said that, the whole reason for going ahead was so that I wouldn’t have to endure any more delays. After many long conversations over the weekend DefTTC has convinced me to give the next cycle a skip and only go ahead with IVF#2 in October.

I am not ready and I don’t see myself being ready in just a couple of weeks (next cycle would probably start middle of next week). I feel as though the stars are starting to align and that if I just wait until things are more aligned we will have a much better chance at success. I have a massive event at work next week (training for around 1,000 people in two days) which I am solely responsible for. It is the highest stress event in the year and definitely not conducive to finding my way to that Zen place again. Add to that I feel like I need to put my Mom to rest (in my mind) before I can move onto starting new life.

And just the same way when I heard I should do the hysteroscopy and that that would cause a delay on our next IVF I felt relief, I am now feeling relief again. The pressure is off. I have time to handle work and then when that is done, deal with some of my feelings about my mom and then start getting ready to face another IVF. So stay tuned for more crazy pre-IVF thoughts…

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About MommyAtLast

Finally a Mommy to our Medical Miracle IVF Boy / Girl Twins who were born in November 2011. We overcame azoospermia using hormone therapy for my hubby to conceive our precious Hope Babes on our 4th IVF.
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7 Responses to Decision to Delay

  1. Cathy Nel says:

    Shew you really have had alot on your plate!
    I totally agree with you. There is no need to rush the next IVF and it’s such an emotional taxing undertaking along with time consuming, that you need to be ready with as little stress as possible. You’ve achieved a whole lot with getting your hyst behind you and that stress is now off the plate, so the best plan is to focus on yourself and undertake the next IVF when you’re ready….. Good luck!

  2. Mash says:

    I’m re-negotiating things with the universe at the moment. One of the things that I really want is a relationship like yours 😉 You guys rock and I love the way that you are taking his advice to give it a little break. I can feel it in my bones. This next round is going to be yours xxx

  3. tasivfer says:

    Sometimes delaying and waiting is the smartest, and most difficult, thing to do. Thinking of you and hoping the extra time lets you heal physically and mentally and improve your chances!

  4. Erika says:

    I am glad all went well with the hysteroscopy, was a bit worried whith the silence from both you and Hopeleesly last week.
    Enjoy the visit with your sister, sisters really are the best medicine there is!
    And good luck with all your work stuff going on, hope it goes well!

  5. ttcnot2easy says:

    My love – I agree. Don’t go ahead if you are not ready. You know what a helluva emotional strain IVF is, and if you aren’t “in the right place”, it’s not going to be fun. My first IVF was done out of sheer desperation – I was NOT ready for any of it and for years afterwards, I swore never to go through that again – in fact, I went around telling people that I’d rather miscarry over and over again than have to go through IVF.
    Loveyoulots xxxx

  6. samcy says:

    You have to be ready. Not just physically but emotionally as well. You take all the time you need to heal right thru and then you can move ahead with the treatment.

    HUGS to you.

    xxx

  7. Angie says:

    Definitely take your time… good luck.

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