An Ode to my Therapist – Just Feel Better

Well actually I am not a poet and these will not be my own words, but I was driving to work yesterday listening to Santana and as always the song spoke to me.  So today we are taking a break from the Challenge so I can offer up this little ode to my therapist.

“Just Feel Better”

(Santana featuring Steven Tyler)

She said I feel stranded, And I can’t tell anymore

If I’m coming or I’m going

It’s not how I planned it, I’ve got a key to the door

But it just won’t open

And I know, I know, I know, Part of me says let it go

That life happens for a reason

I don’t, I don’t, I don’t

Because it never worked before, But this time, this time

I’m gonna try anything to just feel better

Tell me what to do

You know I can’t see through the haze around me

And I do anything to just feel better

And I can’t find my way, Girl I need a change

And I do anything to just feel better

Any little thing that just feel better

She said I need you to hold me, I’m a little far from the shore

And I’m afraid of sinking

You’re the only one who knows me, And who doesn’t ignore

That my soul is weeping

I know, I know, I know, Part of me says let it go

Everything must have a season

Round and round it goes

And every day’s the one before, But this time, this time

I’m gonna try anything that just feels better

Tell me what to do

You know I can’t see through the haze around me

And I do anything to just feel better

I can’t find my way, God I need a change

And I’d do anything to just feel better

Any little thing that just feels better

I’m tired of holding on, To all the things I ought to leave behind, yeah

It’s really getting old, and, I think I need a little help this time!

Yeah

I’m gonna try anything to just feel better

Tell me what to do

You know I can’t see through the haze around me

And I do anything to just feel better

And I can’t find my way

God I need a change

And I do anything to just feel better

Any little thing that just feel better

These words sum up so perfectly how I have been feeling since that cancelled cycle.  There literally has been a haze around me.  At times the haze has been bright red with anger and other times dark blue with depression.  My awesome hubby has held me so close and nurtured me as my soul wept.

I’m not sure that it’s actually my therapist who has helped to clear the haze or whether it’s my amazing husband who has help my hand every step of the way the last few months or my awesome friends who have helped carry the burden, but I am feeling better. 

You know when you have been in the depths of depression and you have a day which seems a little brighter, it seems too much to hope that the end is coming, but when the light lasts day after day and even endures extra stresses and pressures and things that could push you downwards, then you start to feel that maybe, just maybe you actually are getting better.

Today is head shrink and body shrink day again and I find myself so looking forward to seeing the therapist and having this ‘me time’ to focus on making me better. 

As for body shrinking, I know I really should have all the motivation in the world to be losing the weight, I thought this would be so simple, but it really hasn’t been.  I have never found it this hard to lose weight when I set my mind to it.  But my mind seems to be in rebellion and the weight is shifting extremely slowly, but I suppose I should just be grateful that it is going down at all.  Actually it is weigh-in day today and I just know it isn’t going to be great news.  Oh well that’s just the way it goes.

And I am thinking of a new challenge when I finally put the current one behind me; a song a day, which sums up how I am feeling or what I am experiencing.  I figure music seems to really heal my soul so what better way than to give recognition for the great songs that put into words what I sometimes find so hard to say.

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About MommyAtLast

Finally a Mommy to our Medical Miracle IVF Boy / Girl Twins who were born in November 2011. We overcame azoospermia using hormone therapy for my hubby to conceive our precious Hope Babes on our 4th IVF.
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7 Responses to An Ode to my Therapist – Just Feel Better

  1. Annissa says:

    It is hard and music is healing….do whatever you need to, to help you through this time….Happy ICLW….

  2. Erika says:

    You just seem to remind me that I don’t know any music (or their words for that matter), but the lyrics to this one is very spot on! Thanks for sharing.
    I really believe that some people have it harder re weight than others – albeit to loose it, or to keep it down. I also believe that eating a chocolate will make me gain 1kilo while my thin friend’s body won’t react to it at all. So, although it is good to make an effort and better to loose weight, don’t be too hard on yourself. Just be healthy and happy!

  3. Heather says:

    Dear Mommyinwaiting…
    Poetry is so expressive and helpful. the words are beautiful. i also write my own poems to music – look back a bit in my blog.
    I know when my iui failed in July I was kind of frozen for a while. It’s ok to be in that haze. And I’m glad your therapist and hubby helped.
    all the best to you
    Heather

  4. Lilly says:

    Music can be so healing, energizing and therapeutic. Thanks for sharing! ICLW #31

  5. Annissa says:

    I am sorry you are having a tough time right now, but it is good you are talking about it and healing through several avenues…
    ICLW

  6. lady pumpkin says:

    I’m so glad you’re feeling better! Good therapists and good hubbies are such a blessing, aren’t they? I’m glad you have wonderful people around you to help carry you through the times when it’s hard to bear your burdens alone.

    Take good care,
    lady pumpkin
    ICLW #16

  7. Jennie says:

    Just wanted to wish you a great Xmas , you have been such an inspiration to me and just wanted to say that may 2011 be your year !

    May all your wishes come true and give you that BFP that you have dreamt of for such a long time . Here’s to 2011 and all our dreams ……..

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