Heather from surviveandthrive.co.za asked me yesterday what the secret was to my relaxed state. Well Honey it’s all a show. Well except that I am in a better state of mind than during our previous cycles. And today I want to tell you about why…
It’s all about the people on your team. I think I have written about this before, but every now and again I am reminded how awesome my team really is. In preparation for this cycle I read Anya Sizer’s “Fertile Thinking” and in it she talks about your team. So I thought about it a little and realised how amazing my team is.
It all starts at home, I wake up every morning next to my soul mate. He isn’t just the man I love, he is my very best friend in the whole world. He knows me and understands me and helps me to know myself. Best of all he often reminds me to be kinder to myself, to go more gently and I always think that if such a special person can love me that much, I can’t be all bad. Through this cycle he has been my rock and has kept me steady. He has been so calm and unruffled and that has helped me to keep things in perspective.
Then there are my BFFs. These ladies are the most awesome thing to have happened to me ever! I cannot emphasize enough how amazing it is to have friends who really ‘get’ it. Friends who will hold your virtual hand via text messages as you lie in the ward with tears streaming down your face because you are so terrified. Friends who get ridiculously overly emotional with you just before your transfer. Friends who think that bath eggs are the very best thing to keep you calm during your cycle. Friends who call, BBM and send cryptic messages on Facebook to let you know you are constantly in their thoughts and they are in your corner.
My family, have been great, we are so completely out the closet now that it sometimes feels as though EVERYONE knows we are doing a cycle. It means I have to have really weird conversations with my Dad where for example, I told him they had retrieved four eggs and he asked if we now sat on them?!? But they too are on our team. One special family member, even referred to our beautiful embie by name! They get it and are on our side and it all helps to add courage and strength.
Even work colleagues, a few have been brought into the loop because work is so hectic and taking time out under the circumstances required some explanation. And they have been great. NOT asking the stupid questions, or requiring constant updates. Just giving support, and helping to relive the other stresses in my life so I can more easily obsesses over the cycle.
Going back to the therapist at the start of this cycle, seemed a little daft, because truth be told I am feeling so strong and together that I’m not 100% sure what I am looking for from the sessions. But I know that she is on my team and I know how critical the role was that she played in getting me so much stronger. And so I kept her on the team.
And then there is my beloved Dr S. Let me sum it up with this. He called me this morning and said “Are you pregnant yet?” I laughed and said yes. He was phoning because he hadn’t been able to do my transfer (Prof did it) and wanted to let me know that he thought our embies looked great. He wanted to tell me that he has hope for us. He literally just phoned to remind me that he too is in our corner.
If you are facing infertility I really would encourage you to build your team. Make sure you have people who love you, who care for you and who can understand that will hold your hand and give you strength and keep you moving. They take some of the stress on themselves and it all eases the burden on you.