Okay all has been very smooth sailing, until I woke up yesterday morning and realised that it was ONLY THREE MORE SLEEPS until we know for sure! Well now another day has passed and it is now only 2 sleeps to test day. I am beside myself with excitement and well for the very first time ever the crazies set in good and proper.
The great thing is that these are good crazies, they are crazies fuelled by lots of hope and positivity.
Those that have been following me for a while know that I have NEVER used a home pregnancy test (peed on a stick – POAS) – NO not EVER! I have never before calculated the due date of my embryos on our previous cycles, not even figured out which month I might be due in. Well this time things are a little different and I have been following the progress of our embies on a website which shows images of the day by day development of the embryos (http://www.visembryo.com). For me this has been a big thing, it has given me such a sense of the reality that might be if we get that BFP. It has given me such an attachment to this cycle, that I have never had before.
Today I am once again calmer, but there was a crazy moment yesterday where I even considered buying a home pregnancy kit and POAS! Shock Horror!!! As far as I am concerned this excitement is delicious and awesome and a stick can only end that. You see if a stick comes back negative, I will be thinking, well it could be too early, it could be wrong or it could be right. If it comes back positive I will be thinking, maybe it is still the trigger, maybe it is wrong or maybe it is right and no matter what the result the excitement will be replaced by confusion. So I am choosing to stay away from the devil sticks and simply wait this out.
In the midst of the crazies which I really am enjoying so very much I was even tempted by simply not testing, living in the bliss of hope and seeing if my stomach grows, I get nauseous, sore boobs etc etc. Of course there is simply no way I could not find out for sure, besides too many people would lynch me if we left them in suspense for too long.
So TWO more sleeps!