Escape into Books

So since we got the news I have read non-stop.  One of my BFFs bought be “The Pregnancy Bible” and lent me her copy of “Pregnancy Week by Week”, I bought Sister Lillian’s book and “What to Expect” and then just in case I didn’t have enough information I have bought last month’s and this month’s copies of “Living and Loving” and “Your Pregnancy”.  Oh and then there is the Kindle copy of “Taboo Secrets of Pregnancy”, which I am more than half way through.  Yup I have been reading non-stop.  The books are all fab, I especially love the “Bible”, it really goes into detail and is full of hints and tips and suggestions and is structured in themes so perfectly complements the week by week guide which is structured in well… week by week.

Of course all this reading is resulting in questions for Dr S and things to think about and consider, but really this wait for the scan is a kind of limbo.  I know I am pregnant, I believe it even if I don’t feel it very much, but until we have seen what is actually in there, until that first scan I am just not sure it is very real.

For example, I will not post in the “Preggo’s Room” on Fertilicare yet, but feel like such an idiot and insensitive cow for continuing to post in the “TTC Vets Room”.  I know I have crossed over, but until I have a heartbeat, I can’t quite make the move. 

I cannot wait to get out there and start buying things, planning properly and getting organised (Control Freak? Who Me???), but every time I think about it I am completely overwhelmed by the enormity of that action.  Every time I look at a baby item I am filled with doubts, not doubts that our baby will wear it, but doubts over whether it is the right thing.  I feel like until I have seen a scan I just can’t move forward properly.  The other day I was in Woolies and saw the cutest Springbok baby grow!  Absolutely perfect!  But I couldn’t buy it because what if we have two babies, or three, I can’t only buy one and would I want two that are the same or would I want to give them their individuality.  Should I buy the two different ones because if there is one baby it will be two outfits, and if there are two then they will each have one, but they will be different.  Or should I leave these little things for other people to buy?  And really I want Chris to be with me when I finally cave in and buy something for our baby(ies).

Our baby does have a few little things already.  That beautiful blanket my MIL was crocheting is finished and came home last weekend and is in the spare room, which will soon be the nursery.  We got a free pacifier in a magazine and that has been put in the drawer, we have a little taglet that Chris bought during our first IVF as he embraced positivity (luckily I never knew this was in the house until our BFP or I would have cried many tears into that taglet already), we have bum and face cloths (that I actually bought for someone else, but ended up not being invited to her baby shower, so now they are for our baby) and we have the teddy that was my Mom’s that I kept especially for our one-day baby. 

But I just can’t seem to buy anything yet, I have tried and I want to but I am overcome by indecision.  And so I read my books, they help me to start processing what is clearly happening without having to actually take any action.


About MommyAtLast

Finally a Mommy to our Medical Miracle IVF Boy / Girl Twins who were born in November 2011. We overcame azoospermia using hormone therapy for my hubby to conceive our precious Hope Babes on our 4th IVF.
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14 Responses to Escape into Books

  1. darylfaure says:

    Hang in there! Soon all your questions will be answered and you can shop to your hearts content. Don’t buy too much though, as you will be given a lot at your Baby Shower. I am busy giving away some of the baby toiletries that I was given at my Baby Shower (2 years ago) that I will never get around to using, as we have moved on from that, so expecially with toiletries, wait to see what you get before buying things. The suspense of your scan is killing me.

  2. Gwen says:

    I didn’t read What to Expect, but I thought you might be amused to know that a friend of mine was so incensed about its obsession with weight and diet that she says it should be re-named Don’t Get Fat, Bitch.

  3. cathynel says:

    Sounds totally normal to me! I can absolutely understand how you would feel that way and if you’re indecisive then rather wait… won’t harm you 🙂 Plus like you say there may very well be more than one (or two) in there so it’s better for you to know when you open the flood gates!!!! I CANNOT wait for the scan and please don’t keep us in limbo (again 😉 and let us know asap!!!

    PS – I’m totally the same at ‘reading’ and when we first started TTC I bought a pregnancy book (I think it’s the bible one too if I can remember correctly) and I too love to devour information and research so that I am properly informed of what to expect. So don’t feel alone xxx

  4. babiesandus says:

    Embrace every moment Juanita! If there is 2 or 3 in there, this might be your one and only pregnancy. Enjoy every moment, don’t hold back. If you see something buy it now, if you don’t like it later pass it on there are many people in need. And if you need more than one, get it later. Enjoy this time, you have waited soooooo long!

  5. tasivfer says:

    It’s so strange how everyone’s reaction is so different! When I was pregnant with Blobby, my husband bought me a book and I read it cover-to-cover, then read each week as I came to it. This time I’ve picked it up once or twice, but not much. I’m not reading anything. And my husband keeps making major baby purchases, but I haven’t gotten *anything*. Yesterday he came home from work with a car seat/capsule thingo and a high chair!

  6. Marianne says:

    It sounds like you have a good balance of excitement and caution. So far so good, there is no reason to think good news won’t continue. Hang in there and enjoy it!

  7. Bratty says:

    I am just as big as a control freak as you……luckily we knew I was only having one even before the scan(like duhh…only one My sister actually had to bring my baby shower forward cause it was killing me not being organised with everything before baby came. I would suggest buying things like nappies, toys, books, toiletries, blankets in the meantime…you can never have enough of the above. I also found that at the baby showers I got alot of clothes, bibs, socks….
    Dont control the urge to buy..take Chris and off you are a walking miracle…enjoy it

  8. Bratty says:

    PS…besides the books there are also week to week pregnancy guides. I used them alot because I got to see better pictures

  9. Cam says:

    I am in exactly the same space hun!!! I also have the free dummy from the mag, a few teddies and bits and bobs from over the years all in the cupboard in the nursery…LOL. And I am waiting for my book “Pregnancy week by week” – ordered it for 1/2 the price at Amazon. But I admit I did buy 2 things – GAP babygrows – one with a mommy elephant and a baby elephant which says “I love you mummy” and another with a daddy dog and a baby dog saying “I love you daddy”…before my first scan!!!!! So now hoping we have one boy and one girl LOL 🙂 I still can’t rest and believe me while the first scan is SO SPECIAL as you will finally see what is growing…you then can’t wait for the 2nd scan LOL!!!!! I keep popping into Mothercare at Woolies – have already checked out cots, twin prams and all the lovely stuff I can’t wait to buy…but I am so nervous to…I think I will wait until 12 weeks or maybe 20 xxxxx

  10. Heather says:

    hope the days pass quickly so you can hear that heart beat! 🙂 so excited for you! and that crocheted blanket is so precious.
    I have to tell you last week (with my bday and feeling old an infertile) my hubby really made me smile. He put a whole lot of disposaable nappies in our shopping trolley at pick n pay! lol! He dissappeared and reappeared to see how I would react. I just kissed him. Sigh. He is so special. One day we will be buying nappies for real.

  11. Shona says:

    How long to wait now until your scan? I had my scan yesterday, all was well. I really hope you don’t have long to wait for yours.

    Have you worked out a due date for your baby, mine is 20th Nov, I think we must be very close.

    Good luck! And enjoy every moment of being pregnant. I absolutely loved my first pregnancy despite all the tiredness and stretchmarks! Reading the books is part of the fun, as will be the shopping when you feel the time is right for you to start.


  12. Pamela says:

    Hi. I just want to share that I found out on Friday that our IVF worked!!!! Our Beta count is 238. I am so excited… yeaaaaah.. Thank you so much for your blog. It really helped me through the difficult times.

  13. Shona says:

    congratulations Pamela!

  14. Foxypopcorn says:

    I spent last evening downloading all the pregnancy aps I could find. I husband is convinced that I am obsessed! Um, yeah!

    I even started working on a registry. I found this great site that lets you register for used or other gifts from the heart. It is free and you just fill in the different things that you are registering for and include details about where and how to purchase. I am making two registries actually – one for mama and one for baby!

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