35 week exhaustion

I promised myself I would NOT beg the doctor to remove these babies earlier than our c-sec date (which is booked for 38week3days).  I promised myself I would endure any amount of discomfort to keep our babies in the safest place possible for as long as possible.  And if these babies decided to make an earlier appearance well then so be it.

I could never understand women who got so impatient in the last few weeks, who wished their babies on the outside.  I couldn’t understand wanting to rush the natural process and not just allowing your babies to come when they are ready.

That was because I could never have imagined being this uncomfortable.  I could never have imagined that just sitting could be so painful.  I could NEVER have anticipated just how much a twin pregnancy can take out of you.  I could never have forseen that nights would become so endless and I would find myself sitting on the edge of the bed becuase it is more comfortable.  Who would have known that all this could make me so exhausted that I am ready to throw in the towel.

Yesterday I finally admitted that I am ready for these babies to arrive.  When I say ready I don;t mean their room is ready (it’s not), I don’t mean we have everything (but we probably do), I mean I have had enough.

Then in the dark hours of the night, when the pain seems to be at it’s worst and it felt as though they were actually trying to climb out, I felt all guilty for wishing my babies out.  I just kept thinking that they would still be prem, and that out is not yet the best place for them and I cannot wish this over just yet.

Somehow I did resist the urge to beg the doc for an earllier date at our appointment today.  But by the look on his face when he saw me, he doesn’t think this can really keep going for very much longer.  He said that every week when he sees me he thinks, “she can’t get any bigger” and every week I somehow do get bigger!

It gets harder and harder every week to get accurate measurements on the babies and I think personally they are a bit of a waste of time, but seems our boy is roughly approaching 3kgs and our girl around 2.8kgs, but who knows, I think it’s juts a guessing game now.  What the doc can say is that they STILL have PLENTY of fluid and are active and growing and doing very well.  He did an internal today and my cervix is still closed TIGHT!  He also did a swab for Strep B just in case my waters break he wants to know if he should get me on anti-biotics early.  I like his proactive approach, my SIL only had this checked when she went into labour at 41 weeks?!?

Then we talked about what I want at the birth (c-sec).  I said to him I had pretty much held back on my requests until now because it has felt like if they came before now they would be prem and I would have little choice but to go with the flow.  We talked about how important skin on skin is to me and I stressed that while I know it won’t be easy for instant skin on skin after the c-sec with me,  I want our babies to have it and want Chris to do it.  I don’t want them whisked away from us.  He was great and really understanding and in fact got out a photo book he has of a c-sec showing pictures of someone going throught he process, so we could see what everything actually looks like.

And suddenly discussing the birth it hit me that this time in three weeks (if not sooner) we will be getting ready to kiss our children for the first time!  I am so overwhelmed by this it takes my breath away and in fact I found myself crying a little cry at the doctor’s rooms while paying.

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About MommyAtLast

Finally a Mommy to our Medical Miracle IVF Boy / Girl Twins who were born in November 2011. We overcame azoospermia using hormone therapy for my hubby to conceive our precious Hope Babes on our 4th IVF.
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15 Responses to 35 week exhaustion

  1. Cam says:

    Hang in there hun! You are doing so well and your babies are such great weights – wow your body has done so well holding onto them and letting them grow so nicely! I am so excited for you that you are going to meet them soon. I wont tell you to get as much sleep as possible as it seems you aren’t getting much as you are so uncomfy…but try…it is in short supply when they arrive lol xxxx

  2. Lesley says:

    Your doc is awesome. So wonderful that he asked what you wanted for the c-sec.

  3. Oh, I remember that feeling…….8 weeks ago it was me!! Every single day and night(!) becomes a mental and physical battle.
    Hang in there! ( sorry, I know nothing anyone says will help except this : IT IS SO WORTH IT)

  4. Sweets says:

    You have done so great. 35 weeks!!! With excellent estimated weights too. I cannot even imagine how uncomfortable you must be now.

    Three weeks – I hope they go by really fast, and that somehow you are able to have some “comforts” between everything before then.

  5. Heather says:

    Thinking of you and hope you do get some rest somehow. Hang in there!

  6. Marion says:

    I can’t blame you for feeling so uncomfortable and in one way hoping they will come. I am behind you, carrying one baby, and felt great so far, but this heat wave is really getting to me! But I feel the same as you – I’ll cope with the discomfort for my baby’s sake, just so he can grow big and healthy!

  7. Kitty8218 says:

    Sheesh you are doing amazingly!!!! Well done to you and your kiddies and hubby of course. Don’t feel guilty for feeling this way, you are pushing your body to the limit and it’s only natural that you will want it over with.
    Good luck for your last few weeks, may they fly by and may you have a wonderful birth xxx

  8. mrssee2 says:

    Poor thing, you sound so uncomfortable. But it is so worth it,. Think how happy the baba’s are in there. YOU CAN DO IT!!!

  9. Sam says:

    My friend, I was massive and SO HOT and uncomfy in JUNE – the middle of winter, so I can only imagine how uncomfy you are now in the heat with TWO babies on board – you are only human and you are ALLOWED to complain a little bit about how hard the last few weeks are… it doesn’t mean you don’t want the best for the kids, it doesn’t mean you love them any less, all it means is that you’re human and you are grumpy and sleep deprived and want to meet these kids already…

    You’ve done and are doing amazingly well!

    Lots of love to you all
    xxx

  10. Sian says:

    OMG! How time flies. It really seems like the other day that you got your BFP. I wish you so so much luck…..and I can just imagine how uncomfortable you are. Hang in there!!!

  11. darylfaure says:

    Hun – I know it is incredibly hard in the last few weeks, even with a singleton, so I can imagine how you are feeling, but just hang in there (I know it is easier said than done). Try and do as little as possible, and rest/sleep as much as you can, even if it is only for 30 minutes at a time, as I know the nights get very long in the last few weeks. Sending you lots of strength and love. I will come run your feet and back if you need it so just holler.

  12. cstellelle says:

    I am so excited for you!!!! soon all will be over and you will see your little sweethearts xxxx Goodluck for the last weeks\days. you will defiantly get the price for “hang-in-there”!!

    You are going to enjoy this sooo much

  13. Waw, J ! I am saying this again and again, You are doign GREAT !!! Can not even start to imagine how hard this must be for your body … All I can do is to send you tons of energy and I hope your now big darlings come soon ! you are creating 2 MIRACLES !!
    (I met a lady who had triplets last Saturday. Small frame lady of 49 kg who ended up weighing in at 95 kg the day before her C-section). How can a body cope with this sudden weight gain / effort ?!?

  14. zamom says:

    You are doing so well, I cannot begin to imagine how tough it is. One day at a time. Another 7 “sleeps” and they should get to come straight home with you.

  15. Rebecca says:

    When I was getting towards the end of pregnancy with my singleton (6 months ago) I remember thinking the same thing… and then feeling guilty for wanting him out!

    Birth is incredible, that feeling of having your baby placed on your chest for the first time after waiting so, so long for the moment is just an incredulous feeling. I’m a long-time lurker and ecstatic for the weeks to come for you. 🙂

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