I have to admit that I never thought we would make it to 37 weeks with our babies on the inside still. Especially after the really hard days last week, where even crying didn’t really help to alleviate the discomfort and frustration I was feeling. As of today our babies are full terms for twins! They won’t need their milestones to be measured by adjusted age. I am so grateful.
Well a week ago I really never thought I would make another week. Pregnancy is not for sissies and twin pregnancy is really tough. I have spent too much of the last week enduring. Just enduring the pain, enduring the discomfort and feeling terrible because all I wanted was these babies on the outside. There has been no gradual build up of excitement as we count down the days to the c-sec, just a slow building of relief that the end is in sight. Feeling this way has made me so sad, the chances are good this is the only pregnancy I will ever have and I have been wishing it away. There has been no real enjoyment of the little lives still wriggling around inside for the last week or so.
While the meds have certainly helped, I think the discomfort has been growing too and the last two days have been really tough again. Poor Chris comes home to a sad and desperate wife who cries and is totally pathetic. Thank heavens for the drugs or who knows how I would have been.
And then this morning dawns. 37 weeks! And some of the pains are lessened, some of the discomfort seems to have eased and the frustration seems less too. This morning I have smiled at the little kicks and wriggles again, this morning I caught myself singing to my precious babies. Today I am so greatful for the journey that has led us to this place and so thrilled that we have made it to full term and that my little babies are still letting me know that they are there and getting bigger and stronger. Today is a good day.
Only three more days and we will finally hold our babies in our arms. Only three more days and I will finally be able to kiss their sweet little heads. Three more days and we will hear their cries and change their bums and feed them and hold them and rock them and they will hear our voices (not mumbled through amiotic fluid) and smell us and feel us (not just poking at them).
Chances are when you next hear from me I will no longer be a ‘Mommy-in-Waiting’, I will actually be a Mommy with babes in her arms. Guess I may need to rethink my blog.
So today I cherish being pregnant, I treasure these last few days where my children remain closer to me than they will ever be again in their lives. I can keep them on the inside and protect them and nurture them and finally start getting excited for their arrival.