Sorry it has taken me so long to get around to updating you on the safe arrival of our prefect little medical miracles. Pudding and Sausage (3.26 and 3.14kgs) were born on Monday, 7 November 2011 at 13.57 and 13.58 via general anaesthetic c-section.
The birth experience was in no way what I had hoped for and I went under in flooods of tears and totally terrified that I would never wake up to see me angels, but once I lay my eyes on them and held them against my skin it turned out that the way you want your babies to enter the world matters not one iota, all that matters is that they are there, safe and sound and healthy – and they are.
The anaesthesiologist could not get into my spine to do the spinal block due to all the swelling and eventually had to give up for fear of doing nerve damage hence the general anaesthetic. Apparently the c-sec was not straight forward and the doctor was glad in the end that I had been knocked out.
I had so many hopes for how the birth experience would be and despite these babies being here and perfect I am still finding myself sad when I think about our birth experience. I feel I missed so very much on their arrival, but my awesome man has filled me on over the weeks. Like the little detail where the paediatrician said to him, “Come Daddy, let’s count, 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 fingers, 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 toes” on each of our perfect little miracles. And how I apparently said “Hello Angels” when I was finally introduced to them in my drug induced haze.
I woke up in recovery in absolute agony and all I could think was that I had to stop shivering so I could get to my children. It is sad to me that my first post birth memory is shivering uncontrollably with pain and in shock from the surgery and yet when they were put on my chest at last, everything was right with the world. It was as though a veil was laid around me and our precious babies and protected us from the rest of the world. I actually couldn’t see beyond a metre and the only focus I had was right against my breasts. I hope that veil stays there always keeping us together and them safe close to my heart.
Sasage and Pudding are both absolute perfection, very pretty babies (sorry I know I am biased, but they are), they needed no special care at all and went straight from the theatre to the nursery where their Daddy did Kangaroo Care with them skin on skin for over an hour and a half until I was out of recovery.
There is still so much to say about the first few monites / hours and days, about the feelings, the overwhelming joy and fear and the intensity of emotion at every glance at them, every feel of their soft skin, every little squeel or squeak and the smell of them. I hope to get to blog about it all, before these feelings blurr and fade with the passage of time and the new experiences that every day brings.
We had a fairly rough first week, the twins both had low blood sugar, then developed jaundice and with me having a breathing issue (which I think were panic attacks) and high blood pressure spikes. We left the hospital on the Thursday only to be readmitted due to their jaundice on the Friday, then home again on the Saturday. Since being home again things have started to settle into a routine (the absolute secret to even beginning to cope with twins) and I am just in absolute awe at being a Mommy at Last!
I want to thank you all once again for your love and support along this road and to let you all know my perfect moment has begun!