Three months since my last blog post and there is a good reason for it. I have been in such a weird place trying to decide what to do with this blog. I know I have already had the ‘discussion’ on whether I want to be a Mommy Blogger and I think I pretty much came to the conclusion that I do want to keep blogging and if I keep blogging then the fact of the matter is that I AM a Mommy Blogger. And so I carried on as usual.
Then I read a post that started to say some of what I have been feeling about my blog: Melissa Wrote “What If I Wrote a Blog About You” and as I read I realised why I have stopped writing. I realised why every time I wanted to blog I just couldn’t seem to figure out what to say or even more importantly how to say it. You see my babies are little people. One day they will be big people with their own story to tell and it seems so very unfair of me to write their story for them. I know this probably seems overly dramatic and maybe I am just a little confused in my head. There is the question of confidentiality – my own and my babies. I know there are in real life people who read it and I have simply made peace with that. Most of those IRL people I have no problem reading all about the Hope Babes latest antics because I would probably be bragging about them to them anyway, but those people make it harder for this blog to be my deep and dark feelings, because maybe I wouldn’t have shared those with them. Then there are the anonymous folk who are getting to share in our lives, mostly no problem, but what about the sickos, shouldn’t I be protecting my darling little people from being ‘stalked’ through this blog.
I never was one of those women who kept one of those memes about the progress of my pregnancy and I have certainly not been one to post monthly updates on the twins and how they are doing, but somehow I still have things I want to say.
Also this blog still sounds so infertility based, I am not a Mommy in Waiting anymore, I am very much now a Mommy (boy just have to shout from the rooftops how much I love it!). So a new name “Mommy-at-Last”
Long story short, I have decided to keep the blog (for now) and so once again I ask you to watch this space and see whether I can get back into blogging.