Always your Baby

We have been watching “The Borgias” on TV and the Season 2 Finale had the most powerful imagery I have ever seen in a TV show or in a movie or anywhere else for that matter.  I do ask myself if it would have moved me the way it did two years ago, the days before our beautiful Hope Babes, the days before Motherhood.

Warning: Spoiler Alert, if you have not watched the season finale and do still want to watch it, stop reading now because I am about to give away a significant part of the episode.

The Pope’s adult son dies and he is devasted and when his other children try to tell him what a bad person his son was, he simply cannot see it.  The Pop then picks his son up to carry him to a grave site and as he picks him up he transforms into a little boy.  No imagery has ever shown quite so clearly (well that I have seen) how no matter how old your child is they are still just the little child, they are still your baby and will always be your baby.

I sobbed and sobbed and still everytime I even think about it and the images come into my head I well up with tears again.  How can anyone ever deal with the death of their child?

11 months ago my cousin’s 21 year old boy died in a tragic free diving accident, he suffered from shallow water blackout and never surfaced.  My babies were just a month old.  I cried massive tears for my family and my cousin especially.  When I called her to express my condolences she said, “He’s my baby”.  So often I think of him, of her, of the loss and I cry again.  I cannot comprehed the loss of your child.

This weekend someone broke into my cousin’s house and stole her boy’s ashes.  How could someone do that?  How is she supposed to cope with the loss of her baby again?  I know this sounds melodramatic, they are just ashes, not him, but she has held onto these ashes, they are all she has left of her baby (yes I know she has memories) and it too is gone now.  I cannot begin to imagine the depth of the loss she must once again be feeling.

I held my babies extra tight this morning, I gave them extra kisses and I am extra grateful for my amazing husband and awesome babies.

About MommyAtLast

Finally a Mommy to our Medical Miracle IVF Boy / Girl Twins who were born in November 2011. We overcame azoospermia using hormone therapy for my hubby to conceive our precious Hope Babes on our 4th IVF.
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3 Responses to Always your Baby

  1. Maryna says:

    This post has me in tears. Sobbing and sobbing. And sobbing. Now that I’m a mommy, it’s no longer ‘sad’ to hear about the death of a child. It’s traumatic and extremely distressing.

    Now that we have been blessed with these precious and fragile ‘babies’, may we know the mercy of never having to outlive them. Amen.

  2. Sam says:

    Indeed Nits, becoming a mother changes the very fibre of your being. I cannot comprehend ever losing Kade so I tuck thoughts like that into the deepest, darkest reaches of my mind. I am so sorry for your cousin’s loss – who steals ashes? Disgusting. xxx

  3. marianne says:

    Okay I didn’t read the spoiler because I am interested in the show…guess it is worth watching??

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