More than a Mom

I have mentioned how much easier things have become in our house since the twins have become mobile.  It is such a transformation, that I really can’t stop thinking about it.  Our lives have found a happy balance as a family.  For now (because I know how with kids everything is constantly changing) we eat pretty well, we sleep pretty well, we are developing very well, the temper tantrums are not too overwhelming or too often (not to say we don’t have them we do, but they seem to have settled a little and we seem to be able to manage them a little better when they do break out), we are getting out and about, getting an adult nights out from time to time and generally it feels like everything is in its place.

And this has freed up that space for me to remember that I am so much more than just a mom.  Well in theory anyway.  I am also constantly blown away by just how much my priorities have changed since becoming a Mom.

The biggest issue is reclaiming my career.  I used to be that career focused woman who was ambitious and driven to succeed.  I took so much pride in my work and being the best at what I do and I think I obsessed constantly about how I could do better, be better, do more, how I could get recognition for my achievements and that mattered so much to me.  It started to ease when we started the TTC journey, but still my career was what it was all about.  My career gave us the money to afford the infertility treatments, my career gave us the money to set up for the twins arrival with everything we wanted.  My career also gave me such a sense of purpose and satisfaction.  But from the point of getting pregnant I have lost that, completely and utterly lost it.

I went back to work almost a year ago already, the twins were only three months old, but I have such a cushy situation work wise.  I am a consultant and my (only) client has been fantastically supportive.  In January I only went to a few meetings, February I went back to work 4 days a week part time and by April I was working 5 days a week, but only for 5 hours a day.  I get to have time with the kids in the mornings before I leave for work around 8.00-8.30.  I am home most days around 3pm and get plenty of play time in as well as getting to do bath time, dinner and bedtime routine.  It is awesome and I thank my lucky stars every day for being privileged enough to have this set up.

I have found working part-time hard on a number of levels.  First off I struggle to accept that I probably can’t do a full time job in part-time hours.  Add to that that I am a real busy body and want to be involved in everything and when you only work limited hours you cannot attend every meeting or be part of every discussion and that in itself makes my job harder.  Since returning to work I am now also managing a team of eight, most of whom are very junior staff and guiding them is very time consuming.  It’s very different managing staff output rather than just being responsible for production yourself.

And then the real problem is that I have a totally one track mind – the Hope Babes!

Any way things have eased, I have headspace for more than just the babes and now I need to find the motivation to focus back on my career so that I can secure this amazing situation I have work wise.  The problem is I have developed bad habits and now I am finding it hard to find my focus again and get back in the swing of things properly.

Any tips on finding your focus back at work after being obsessed with your kids?

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About MommyAtLast

Finally a Mommy to our Medical Miracle IVF Boy / Girl Twins who were born in November 2011. We overcame azoospermia using hormone therapy for my hubby to conceive our precious Hope Babes on our 4th IVF.
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4 Responses to More than a Mom

  1. I wrote about exactly the same thing yesterday. I find I am very hard on myself about my work performance/results last year and I realize I need to give myself a break. I am also trying to find that ‘focus’ in 2013. And I am not sure how to do it yet.

  2. Melinda says:

    I found that since becoming a Mom, my career has been put on a little bit of a backburner…I changed my job 9 months after having Jada because I just could not stand the pressure anymore. Took a job, less pay, closer to home, more flexi hours …I will grow from here..but I needed that breather

  3. It will come, that I do promise. But it is NEVER that easy again. You have to constantly focus yourself

  4. Foxy says:

    Work home balance, What?
    Really though, I LOVE my job and am grateful everyday that I get to leave the house for a bit. I reduced my hours and it is SO hard to reduce the workload – there is just so much going on that needs my attention. I also struggle with the exhaustion that comes with not sleeping thru the night, and it has seriously affected my work… I have had, on too many occasions, had to apologize to my boss for completely forgetting important things, which I hate, but is the way it is for now.
    I am also struggling to maintain the logistics of working limited hours and piecing together childcare. Everyday is a different set of caregivers and I have to always have that in mind as well.
    The one thing that this all makes me really think about is the politics of parenting (in the USA, and other places) – SO many mothers must return to work at 6 weeks without any paid time off, SO many mothers have no choice but to work 40 or more hours week, SO many parents don’t have the support systems I do. Our expectations for parents are INSANE, its no wonder that we have such a high divorce rate, that so many kids struggle in school and drop out. Heck we can barely support moms who need to take breaks to pump milk during their work-day so many of them either give up or simply drop out of the workforce.
    Clearly this hits a nerve for me! Sorry for the rant!

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