Looking back on the final days of infertility

Every now and then I find myself browsing back through my blog posts.  I find I keep returning to the posts during our successful cycle.  And those first posts following the best news of our lives.  I love reliving the anticipation and fears and excitement and joy through the post.

It is great looking back.  There are a few things that really stand out for me:

  • Just before my BFP I wrote about how I couldn’t wait to phone my sister and tell her about our BFP and how she was going to be the best aunty ever.  Wow did I get it right, that phone call to the very first person I told I was pregnant is one of my most precious memories and my sister is the most amazing aunt any kids could ever hope for
  • At the start of our successful cycle I wrote about how glad I was that we had come out the Infertility Closet and told people about our struggle.  I wrote about how amazing the people in our lives had been and how if our one day baby(ies) just knew what an amazing family and circle of friends they were coming into they would rush to us.  And wow that community of friends and family are awesome.  And more and more people step up and fill our kids lives with love, it is sublime.
  • My MIL crocheted our one day baby a blanket during that cycle, how special is it that she had to make another one.  How amazingly lucky did we get that we got two babies to wrap up in those blankets
  • At every single step of the way my husband was my rock of Hope.  The day of transfer I went shopping and tried to buy ‘hope’ – yes totally crazy  I knew it then and I know it now, but now I know I had my rock right there all along.  He has been my rock for the last nearly 20 years (yes we have known each other nearly 20 years and have just celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary!)
  • I had the best fertility specialist in the world in my team.  He knew exactly how to care for me, he knew exactly what I needed at each step.  He convinced us to try that treatment, to be patient and wait for it to work.  He knew to phone me two days before test day and remind me how amazing my embabies were, he knew I was loosing the plot.  He helped us get our babes.  I miss Dr S.
  • That “Butterfly Kisses” song that played the morning of my test results plays back to me so often as one or the other of our beautiful Hope Babes lies in their Daddy’s arms at night and gives him a butterfly kiss (melts my heart)

That one month of my life changed everything.  Everything that came before has a different perspective now.

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About MommyAtLast

Finally a Mommy to our Medical Miracle IVF Boy / Girl Twins who were born in November 2011. We overcame azoospermia using hormone therapy for my hubby to conceive our precious Hope Babes on our 4th IVF.
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5 Responses to Looking back on the final days of infertility

  1. Melanie says:

    Thank you for your inspiring post. It seems like what you are saying is that when it happens and I do become a mommy, it will eclipse all the burden, sadness and loneliness I feel right now. Thanks again for giving me hope today.

    • MommyAtLast says:

      There is nothing I can say from this side of the journey that can explain to you how completely your perspective will change when you become a mom, nothing I say will ease the way you feel right now. Just hold that hope close to your heart as long as you can.

  2. Sam says:

    Indeed Nits. I often think back to our struggle with infertility and the darkness I felt while going through it isn’t quite the same these days… thank God!

    xxx

  3. Congrats again for all the determination you both had as a couple during those IF years !
    You are right, every day I see my lovely girls, I am reminded how blessed we have been with her. But then again, we are really wanting to go for a bigger family and IF hits back. Having children is not a cure but it does make the pain heal !! Thanks God !!

    Your Hope Babes are just beautiful. I did not read all your latest entries (a bit at a time cause Z keeps me busy, busy …) Just wanted to say they have a wonderful play room and most important, great parents !! You are doing a great job, J & C !!

  4. Tarra C says:

    I am so grateful for your post. My husband I are considering IVF soon and I am nervous beyond my wits. I hope to keep being inspired by your posts. You are definitely saved in my Fav’s. Thank you so much. I am not quite ready to share with friends that we are considering IVF because no one we know has ever been through it and I am not quite ready for the disappointment or the I’m sorry’s just yet.

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