Just looked back and realised it’s been three months since I blogged. I really am an all or nothing kinda gal, either I blog every day or I simply don’t blog at all. Things have been busy and fun and really the urge to blog has just not been there, but now with just over a week until these precious Hope Babes (or I suppose I should call them the Hope Toddlers now) turn TWO, it’s time for a bit of an update.
Work has been much busier and I have taken on some new activities and I am back to loving my job. I keep wondering whether I just needed enough of a gap from pregnancy and the focus on my new babies so I could get back ‘into’ work or whether work has really just improved. I think it’s probably a bit of both. Along with the acceptance that there is no point fighting some things. For a while I have been so torn between needing to work and wanting to be with the kids and I think the last couple of months the realisation has dawned that I NEED to work to cover our lovely new home and the amazing lifestyle we have and all the possibilities that will mean for our kids, like being able to send them to good quality schools where they can get a solid education that nurtures them as individuals and builds on their strengths. And with acceptance that this is just the way it is has come a greater enjoyment of life.
At the same time I seem to have gotten over the worst of the overwhelming yearning I have had for another pregnancy/child. The yearning got so strong that I looked into surrogacy very closely and even went so far as to complete the forms. And then one question on that form stopped me in my tracks as I realised I just don’t have what it takes to carry a child for someone else. But that is for another post. The point is that since I started to accept that I have everything I ever wanted and we will not be having more kids I have found the yearning lessening and the enjoyment of what I do have increasing. And strangely even holding a new born last night didn’t bring back any urge for another baby. I think for us that is a phase that has passed. Again I question whether the hormonal drive has just lessened or whether acceptance has just set in.
I organised a birthday bash Hollywood Style for Chris’ 40th and we had a ball. We partied until 3am, drank cocktails and remembered that life is fun. My amazing kids astounded me, by asking to go to bed at 8.30 despite 20 other kids running around the party and loud music. They went to bed and slept through it all. Of course it meant they were up at silly o’clock when we really needed a lay in, but WOW! It was a fab celebration all round with memories sent in from around the world for Chris, picnic for his birthday, and so many of the people who mean so much to us showing up and dressing up and celebrating with us. His birthday has driven home to me that life is fun and I think we might just be holding many more knees up style parties in the years to come.
And so for the twins.
How is it possible that my babes are going to be two next week. How is it possible that my babies really are not babies in any way anymore. It really feels like all sign of babyhood is behind us and we are firmly rooted in the next stage, which I have to say is simply the cutest and most fun yet. Yes I do know that I keep saying that, but seriously we have having a ball and they just get more and more adorable every day. We are trying to teach them how old they are (even if the concept is entirely beyond them). So I asked the other day, how old are you going to be next week and they said “Number two” LOL!
There is so much to say that maybe that is for another post where I can rant on and on about how much they amaze and thrill me every single day.