On Friendship

What a great read Melissa put out there on this post on friendship.  As so often happens she speaks to what is going on in my head.  I said the other day that a couple of friends have been in my thoughts lately.  Actually friendship in general has been on my mind.

I definitely do NOT have 64 friends.  Not even remotely close.  I have 150  135 (decided to have another cull) friends on Facebook and regularly cull the people I am actually not that interested in.  But those aren’t all real friends.  Some if I am honest I am just being voyeuristic on, I am just fascinated by some aspect of their life or there is a vague curiosity about them.  I’m not sure I even need two hands to count my real friends.  And you know what… that is fine by me.  I don’t need a lot of friends.  The way life is right now I don’t have the time or the energy to be a real friend to lots of people.  I barely have the time to be a real friend to my husband who lives in my house and sleeps in my bed and who I talk to all the time, hell we even work together.  How on earth does anyone have time for 64 friends.

I keep thinking about that saying about friends for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty; to provide you with guidance and support; to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

— Unknown

And it is so hard to know which it is.  There is that part of me that wishes I could know at the beginning of a friendship which it is, so that I could only invest in the lifetime variety, seems such a waste to have friendships that you invest so much time and love and energy into that just fade away.  But I have to keep remembering the reason and the season.  So many people have passed through my life, so many have meant so much for a time.  So many have added so much to my life and yet they have moved on.  How do you know when it is time to move on, to let go, to acknowledge that the season is over or that the reason is passed?  Does it need to be acknowledged or can it just drift away to nothing?

I went for dinner the other night with a friend.  A real deep meaningful friend.  The kind who held my hand on rough days, who I will always be there for to hold her hand (I hope she will always call on me).  The kind I keep in touch with regularly on social media and less often but still fairly frequently on the phone and nowhere often enough in person.  The best thing about catching up with a friend like this is how de-stressing it is.  How amazing it is to chat and share thoughts and get a sanity and sense check.  Someone who by the very act of talking to them you start to clarify what you really think on something and question why you believe what you do.  The kind of person who helps you know yourself better.  And it isn’t all deep and meaningful it just is what it is and its good.  Does that make any sense?